


The Night We Met

by quafflerain1044



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean is a Sweetheart, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sam is a Sweetheart Too, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-10 05:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quafflerain1044/pseuds/quafflerain1044
Summary: You run away as fast as you can from the hell you had been trapped in for so long. You never thought you'd find such nice people. Neither did you think that you would be thrown into a world that was possibly a lot more dangerous than the one you escaped. But with them by your side it was better, so much better.





	1. The Night We Met

You ran away from the house and into the woods as fast as possible with your arm throbbing while you held it.

You ignored the thoughts and images flashing through your head of what you knew he would do if he found you once he came back to himself. You hit him very hard on the head, but he was a tough bastard and you knew he’d come to his senses again and look for you no matter what. You continued running away in the general direction of the road, you already had a bit of a head start so stopping to catch your breath just wasn’t an option right now. You would breathe again once you were as far away from that fucking house as physically possible.

You knew he could have woken up already and it wouldn’t be hard for him to track you, at least not the first few yards since you didn’t care to cover your tracks. That would give him some idea of the direction you took. Fucking stupid. You thought, cursing yourself for being so careless. But you were so full of adrenaline from actually having knocked him out and escaping that you didn’t really think about covering your tracks until you reached the little creek that was about 250 yards away. You knew that was more than enough for him.

 _Please let there be a car, please God_. You prayed. You weren’t much of a believer, but desperate times call for desperate measures and right now you were so desperate to get away from there that you weren’t beyond getting on your knees. Only that meant stopping, and you were not going to stop right now.

You heard the sound of a car approaching as you got closer to the road and your heart skipped a beat. You ran faster, holding your arm closer to your chest. It hurt like hell but it wasn’t broken. He was always careful not to break your bones, that would mean getting medical attention and how would he explain why you had cuts all over your body? or the scars all over it? Cuts and burns, those, he could heal.

You weren’t so sure he was going to continue being careful anymore if he found you.

_I should’ve grabbed his fucking gun, ‘least I’d have something to defend myself with if he caught up with me._

_Oh yeah, like you could shoot a gun anyway._

_Well, at least I could threaten him, it’d be something._

You reached the road and saw the car you had heard pass like lightning. _Shit, well that’s that._

You knew other cars would eventually pass by, but who the fuck would stop for someone who looked like you? Your hair was a mess, you were dirty as hell -and smelled like hell too- your clothes were cut and dirty and you were barefoot.

_Yeah, no one’s gonna stop for you, you look like a hobo._

_Hey, there’s people who take care of them, someone will pity me. I hope._

_Pfft, yeah right-_

Your thoughts got interrupted by the sound of another car coming closer and closer, it was an old one, but well taken care of, you could tell by the sound of the engine. You turned around and started signaling for them to stop. It was a big, black car.

 _Please, please, please._ You pleaded as you put your somewhat healthy arm up in the air and waved. _Please, stop._

Your internal pleading worked, apparently. The car slowed down and got on the shoulder of the road as it slowly came to a stop.

“Hey, you need help there?” a guy with brown sort-of long hair and beautiful eyes asked you from the passenger side.

“I need a ride, please” you said and your voice sounded weaker than you thought it would, you cleared your throat and looked at him right in the eyes.

“Yeah, no problem, get in” he said and you opened the door, you looked back once more to check for any signs of being followed.You got in the car and it sped back into the road once more. You let out a shaky breath and threw your head back, closing your eyes for a second and trying to collect your thoughts. _Do not cry, for the love of God do not cry in front of these strangers (Y/N)(Y/L/N)._

“Thank you” you said, your voice croaky as you fought to hold back the tears, “for stopping”

“No problem, you okay?” the man driving asked as he glanced back at you in the rear view mirror. “You look like hell”

“Dean!” the other man hissed as he punched the other guy -Dean- in the arm.

“No, it’s ok, he’s right I do look like hell” you said, starting to calm down. “I’m, okay I guess, just a dislocated shoulder but I’ll be fine”

“We can take care of that, no problem” the one with the long hair said, “Do you want to go to a hospital? Get that checked out?”

“NO” you didn’t want to have to explain how it had happened to a nosy nurse “Just..I can take care of it myself”

He nodded and left it at that. You were glad he wasn’t asking more questions, but you knew sooner or later you were probably going to have to explain why you looked like you just got ran over by a truck. You just weren’t ready to do it yet.

“We’re heading to Sioux Falls, where’re you going…?” Dean asked

“(Y/N)” you completed, and after a little bit of thinking you answered the other question, “wherever you’re going is fine by me” I don’t have anywhere else to go anyway. But you weren’t going to say that aloud.

“Okay then, Sioux Falls it is” Dean said, “I’m Dean, this is my brother Sam”

“Nice to meet you” you said politely and closed your eyes. You were somewhat safe now, you could breathe.

You knew you shouldn’t fall asleep, but suddenly the weight of everything that happened was too much for you and you fell asleep listening to the sound of the music and the rumble of the engine under you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear reader, it's Anna here. Thanks a lot for clicking on this story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do writing it. Kudos and comments inspire me to keep working on this so feel free to leave them if you like.


	2. Safe and Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Chapter contains Non-con elements so heads up for that.

“(Y/N)?” you wake up startled and look up to see Sam backing away a bit with his hands up “hey, it’s ok it’s just me, we’re gonna spend the night here”

You rub your eyes and look around, the neon lights of a motel too bright for your sleepy eyes. “Where are we?”

“Chickasha, Oklahoma” he says, “uhm, I don’t..suppose you got any money?

You shake your head, “No, sorry”

 _Fuck, and just how are you supposed to pay for a room? or food? or anything for that matter._

“I can stay in the car if you want” you say and brace yourself because it’s gonna be cold as fuck and you know it.

“No no, it’s just that we only have money for one room so...unless you’re not uncomfortable with sleeping in the same room with us” he says, and then adds “and I can help you with that shoulder”

After a second of considering your options you decide that a nice shower and an actual bed might be nice for a change. “Okay, yeah..thanks Sam”

“Yeah, no problem”

In that moment Dean comes out of the motel office with a key. “Let’s go” he says and walks towards the room.

You can’t really remember the last time you were in a motel, probably when you were little and you and your dad would go on road trips across the country. You smile a little at the memories, wishing he was still alive. Thinking maybe none of this would’ve happened if he hadn’t died.

You shake your head to try and get those thoughts out of your head and look around. The room’s nice enough, two queen size beds, an old TV and a mini fridge, a table and a few chairs. Much more than what you had at the cabin.

The guys leave their bags on the floor next to the table. Dean goes to open the mini fridge and Sam shuffling through his bag looking for something.

“Well, fridge’s empty” he closes it again and looks at you, “you hungry?” you nod “okay, me too so I’m gonna go get us something to eat” he grabs the keys of the car again and heads out the door. 

“So,” Sam says “uhm, sit down here, I’m gonna see if I can do something about your shoulder”

“I can do it myself” you say, but you sit down anyways.

“Don’t worry, I’ve done this a million times” he says and starts to gently touch your shoulder. “We have pain meds, you should probably take some to help with the pain and relax the muscles”

“Okay” you say and nod, not about to refuse pain meds when you feel like your entire body is being crushed under an elephant. “yeah, pain meds sound great”

He gives you a little smile and hands you the pills  You take them and the glass of water he hands you and you down them both in two gulps.

“Okay, let’s take care of that shoulder”

He gives you something to bite on so you don’t scream but you don’t take it. You’ve been through so much pain before that you don’t really scream anymore. He looks at you with pity in his eyes and you can’t take it, so you turn your head and look at the stain in the carpet.

“Just do it” you say and he grabs your arm again. You brace yourself against the pain that’s coming and he puts your arm back in place in one swift and quick movement. “Holy fucking hell” you breathe once it’s done and he chuckles.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, you’re good at that” you look at him and he shrugs nonchalantly. “Thank you, Sam”

“It’s okay, you probably shouldn’t move it that much anyway, just ‘till it’s completely healed” he says and clears his throat, “so, uhm, you wanna take the shower first? I can see if I have some clothes that might fit you”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” you ask, even though you’re genuinely thankful.

“You look like you’ve been through hell and me and Dean uhm, well let’s just say we know what that’s like” he says and you can’t really say anything to that “besides, we help people, that’s what we do” Sam gives you a gentle smile and you can’t help but return it.

“Well, thank you” you say as he hands you a t-shirt and sweatpants.

“I think this will do, at least for now”

You nod and whisper a “thanks” before getting in the bathroom and taking your clothes off, leaving them scattered around the floor. You turn and look at yourself in the mirror for the first time in what feels like years. _Jesus_ , you think as you notice how disheveled you actually look, _how the fuck did I manage to actually get a ride with those guys, I look like shit._

You have bags under your eyes, your whole body is dirty and your hair could very well pass as a bird’s nest. You inspect the rest of your body and find what you already knew you’d find. Scars scattered like someone used you as a canvas for one of those abstract paintings. You sigh and turn the hot water on, looking for a temperature that’s nice enough. Once you find it, you step onto the shower and close your eyes at the pleasure of the water drops hitting your skin. You wash your hair thoroughly and try to remember the last time you actually took a shower.

_Maybe I should ask them what day it is, that way I know how long I was gone_

_Yeah, like that would make any difference_

_Well at least I’d know what date it is, asshole, jeez._

_Whatever, you should find a way to pay them back ‘s what you should do_

_I know. I will._

You rinse your hair and turn so the water hits you right in the face, it feels so nice to be clean again you feel like crying. And you do, because you made it. _I got out._ You think, because that way it feels more real, and you cry a little harder as you try the words around your mouth. “I got out” you say with a little chuckle, “I’m free”. You know you shouldn’t get your hopes up that much, because as long as he’s alive, you know he’s not gonna stop until he finds you. “Let him try”, you say, feeling brave enough to imagine yourself giving him back for all that time that you were in his power, everything he made you go through, all the ways he hurt you.

You finish cleaning yourself up and are a little amazed by the actual color of your skin, you had kind of forgotten what it looked like without all that dirt. You dry yourself up and put on the clothes Sam gave you. They’re huge on you, the guy must be like 6’4” and you barely reach 5’6’’ standing on your tiptoes. But they’re clean and fresh and so much better than the rags you had on. You gather them up in your arms and think you’ll throw them away in the morning, or maybe burn them so you don’t leave anything behind that he could find and track you with. Yeah, burning them sounds much better.

When you get out of the bathroom you find Dean sitting on one of the chairs and taking his shoes off.

“Hey, you look better now, did Sam help you with your shoulder?” he asks, and you notice he looks at you a little longer than you’re comfortable with, you clear your throat as you throw your old clothes near the TV.

“Yeah” you answer and sit down on the chair across from his.

“Good, eat up” he grabs a burger and starts biting down on it, then he grabs a beer and takes a few sips, swallowing it all down at once. You chuckle and grab one of the burgers from the bag. “What?”

“Nothing, you just seem...enthusiastic about that burger” you say, thinking about how your father used to be with his food, it was bordering on ritualistic. You start biting down on your own and swallowing before you add “you reminded me of someone”

“Hmm” is his only answer and you both continue to eat in silence for a while.

“Where did Sam go?” you ask.

“He went to get something from the car” he says and just as he does, Sam enters the room again.

“Hey, I got some clothes that might fit you better, they’re from a friend” he says as he hands you a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt and a jacket.

“This is more than enough, thank you Sam” you say with a smile and grab the clothes from him, putting them on the chair next to you as Sam sits between you and Dean, who had gone back to eating his burger and drinking his beer. “And you too, Dean”

He looks up and with a mouthful of food asks, “mind telling us what happened to you?” 

You knew this moment would come, so you had already prepared yourself for it, but actually telling someone what happened to you was actually harder than you thought. You look down at your burger and struggle to think of the right words.

“I -uhm, God, sorry it’s just- okay, yeah you deserve to know” you glance at Dean and he’s looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face, Sam just looks like a sad puppy and you look down at your food again because it’s actually easier to speak when you don’t see them looking at you. “I was running away from a man, a monster really” you can’t help but notice how they quickly glance at each other and think that this might be the moment they decide it’s not worth the trouble to help you.

“What do you mean by ‘monster’?” Sam asks and you see concern written all over his face “what did he do?”

“He hurt me, in every way he could think of” you think back to the cigarettes, how he’d put them out against your belly and take delight in your whimpers and screams. It’s silent for a bit, and you thank them for it because you don’t know if you could keep yourself from breaking down right there.

“He won’t hurt you anymore, (Y/N)” Dean says, sounding so sure of himself and you look up, surprised at how you actually believe him “not if we can do something about it”

Sam nods and says, “Yeah, you’re safe with us”

You smile a little at that still not actually believing it, because you know the things he’s capable of. You don’t really want them to get caught up in all of this, and yet you find that you’re comfortable with how safe you feel in their presence.

“Do you guys mind telling me what day it is?” you ask them, kind of nervous about the answer.

“It’s October the 13th, 2011” Sam answers, and you nod, not saying anything.

_Okay, so it’s been a year and a half...Not that much actually._

You finish eating and the boys take turns taking showers while you sit on one of the beds. It’s soft, the comforter is a little rough and it has that weird smell all motel comforters seem to share. But it’s a bed, and you’re grateful once again to have made it here. He’s probably stopped looking for you around the woods by now, you think. But he’ll continue in the morning. You get under the comforter and sigh against the mattress. It’s hard, but it’s a hell of a lot better than sleeping on the hard, cold floor of the little kitchen in the cabin.  

Sam and Dean share the bed next to yours and once they’re settled down Dean turns off the lamp next to his side of the bed. “G’night” he says and you and Sam say it back.

Even though all the lights are off, you can still see clearly thanks to the glow of  the neon lights from the sign outside. You turn around and find yourself facing Dean, who’s already asleep on his side with a hand under his pillow. _He’s cute._ You think, really looking at him for the first time since you met them. You notice the way his mouth isn’t closed all the way, and how his eyelashes curl so much you think he might actually use an eyelash curler. You smile at the thought and close your eyes, drifting slowly to sleep.

\--

_“GET THE FUCK OVER HERE YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH”_

_You run faster, trying to get yourself further away from him, you know he’s close and you don’t want to know what he’ll do to you if he gets his hands on you again._

_You can hear him getting closer and closer, you try to run faster but your lungs feel like they’re on fire and your legs are starting to feel weak._ No no no no no, you can’t let him get to you, come on, you can do this.

_You hear the sound of the shotgun being fired, then the pain of the bullet piercing and penetrating your back hits you and you feel yourself falling. You can already feel the blood pooling under you and in your mouth, the taste and the smell of it making you feel like you’re drowning._

_“You really thought you could get away from me (Y/N)?” you hear his voice coming from above you and from the corner of your eye you see him standing on top of you, he grabs a handful of your hair and pulls your head back hard, ripping some strands of from the force of it. “Now look at what you made me do, I thought we were having fun there” he says and now his mouth is so close to your face you can smell the cheap beer and the tobacco on his breath._

_“F-fuck you” you spit through your bloodied mouth. He chuckles and shoves your face back to the floor of the woods, the dirt mixing with your blood._

_“Well, since you asked so nicely” he says and you hear him starting to take his pants off. You close your eyes and grit your teeth, already preparing yourself for what’s coming and knowing it’ll end sooner if you don’t struggle. You don’t have the strength anyway, you can feel the blood oozing through the bullet wound. It’s getting harder to breathe and you think, for a second, that this might be the end, you’re dying. You actually feel at peace with that, at least it’ll mean he can’t hurt you anymore, ever._

_“(Y/N)?” you hear and it’s a different voice, it sounds softer, worried._

\--

You wake up startled once again and sit up, looking around and not recognizing where you are until you remember. _I’m safe, I got away, I’m safe._ Your rapid breathing starts to slow down.

“Hey, you okay? you were thrashing around and I had to wake you or risk you hurting your shoulder again” Dean says standing next to you with a glass of water on his hand that he gives to you. You take it and take a few sips before answering.

“Yeah, just a nightmare” you say, sitting up and stretching a bit, “thanks” you say, as you start getting up.

“Yeah, I know how they go” he says, so low you can barely hear it “Sam went to get us some breakfast, we wanna hit the road again so we get to Jody’s by tonight”

“Yeah, sure” you say as you gather the clothes Sam gave you the night before and head into the bathroom. You go about your business humming and trying to not think of the nightmare you just had. The things you thought in it, so familiar to the thoughts you usually had when he was hurting you. _You’re alive, and you’re well, you’re free._ You focus on that while you put on the clothes. They fit a little loose, you had lost a lot of weight in the time you were with him and you can tell better now, without all that dirt covering how thin your skin got, how your ribs are showing just a little and you pulled the t-shirt down, not wanting to see that anymore. You are just gonna have to eat more now.

Once you get out of the bathroom you see Sam and Dean sitting down on the table and waiting for you to start breakfast. Your heart warms a little bit at how oddly familiar it felt.

“Good morning, Sam” you say, sitting down next to Dean.

“Good morning, how’d you sleep?” he asks as you all start to drink your coffees and bite down on the donuts he bought.

“Better than I had in a while, honestly” you answer and notice Dean looking at you, you give him a reassuring smile. Nightmares or not, sleeping in an actual bed again was kind of magical.

“I’m glad to hear that” Sam says and offers another one of his gentle smiles.

You don’t speak again until you’re all in the car and heading to the highway. Dean puts a cassette on the player and as the music starts, you smile. Dead or alive was your father’s favorite song and you can’t help but giggle as you remember all those times you were riding shotgun on his car and you’d sing it at the top of your lungs, making faces and pretending you were at a concert with him. It warms your heart and you find yourself singing softly to yourself.

_“I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride_

_I’m wanted -wanted- dead or alive”_

You didn’t notice your voice getting louder, nor the fact that both Dean and Sam are staring at you dumbfounded.

“You like Bon Jovi?” Sam asks

“Damn, nice cords girl” Dean says with a cheeky smile on his face.

You are positive your cheeks could not get any redder than they are right then. “Uhm, yeah I do” you answer, “I mean, they’re awesome”

“Damn right they are” Dean says, he turns the volume up until Jon’s voice is blaring through the speakers of the car and the three of you start singing at the top of your lungs.

It feels nice, you feel safe, and as dumb as it is to feel like that with two strangers, it feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, hope you liked it and if you did feel free to leave a comment or kudos.   
> *I'm not from the U.S. so any mistakes in geography are on me and my inability to use a map correctly, so yeah, sorry.  
> *Also, English is not my first language so sorry for any grammatical mistakes (or any other kind of mistakes).  
> See you soon!  
> Anna


	3. Arsonist's Lullaby

“Fucking hell” he says, getting up slowly, his head throbbing from where she had hit him with the cast iron skillet “(Y/N)! you better be here you fucking whore” he mutters, walking through the house and checking everywhere, he sees the open door and smiles, “well okay then, you wanna play hide and seek? let’s play hide and seek”

He grabs his shotgun from where it rests next to the door and stands on the porch, taking a deep breath and carefully studying the surrounding woods. He walks slowly down the steps, careful not to step on the tracks he already sees she left behind when she ran out of the house and into the woods.  _ Damn girly, could’a covered your tracks at least, make this a little harder.  _ He crouches down and touches the ground where the leaves are crunched and sees her footprints marked. The trail is clear and so he gets up and starts walking towards the direction she took. 

He knows it’s been about an hour since she left, she had a good head start. But she has a dislocated shoulder, so that should slow her down at least a bit, besides, where the hell could she go anyway? She had nowhere to run.

“I’m gonna find you sooner or later, baby” he says as he loads the shotgun, “and boy oh boy, you’re gonna enjoy what I’ll do to you when I do”

He continues to follow the trail until the footprints stop in the little creek where he cleans his game. He crosses to the other side of it and looks for more footprints to follow, anything that resembles a trail, really. He realizes that this is where she started to cover her tracks and fury stars to rise inside him, his blood running hot through his veins as he takes a deep breath, trying to not let his temper get the best of him. He was not gonna lose his temper over her, not yet. 

_ Yeah, you’re gonna love what I’m gonna prepare for you baby. _

He spits and continues to walk in the direction of the road. It’s going to get dark soon and he knows that the longer it takes him to find a trail or anything to follow, the harder it’ll be to find her. But he will find her, sooner or later. She has to pay for the mess she made, after all. 

He gets to the road but doesn’t go beyond the treeline. It’d be stupid to walk around with a gun in his hands, even if the cops around don’t really care about it. He continues his path down the road, towards the dirt road that leads to his cabin. It dawns on him then that she’s been very good at covering up after herself, he’s not gonna find her tonight.

_ Fucking whore, should’a broken your fucking little legs the day I brought you here. _

But it’s too late now for that, at least he knows what he has to do first thing after he finds her.  _ That, and cut her hands too.  _

He gets to the dirt road and starts making his way back to the cabin, deciding a nice bottle of whiskey is just what he needs to make the throb on his head disappear completely. He starts whistling then, a slow, dark tune. It brings him memories. Of the day he discovered how much thrill there was in making other things suffer. The way his father had looked at him, surprise and disgust,  _ fear too,  _ mixed in his clear blue eyes as he shot the deer he had caught right between the eyes. He smiles. 

_ That was a fun night, _ he thinks, remembering how his mother had cried in the kitchen as his father told her how he started to cut little pieces of the animal while it was still alive and struggling on the floor.

He gets to his house and notices something’s not right _ , I didn’t leave the lights on _ . 

He gets his shotgun ready and silently walks towards the door, making sure not to step on the creaky floorboards. When he gets inside he turns to the living room and he sees her. The woman is sitting in his armchair, looking like she’s been there for a while. 

“Put the gun down, James” she says, getting up slowly “I’m not here to hurt you”

He doesn’t put the shotgun down. “I know you aren’t” he answers back, “can’t say the same about myself though, who the fuck are you?”

“I’m here because I have an offer to make” she says, “I can help you get your little toy back”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya there! Short one for today, my finals are this week and I can't keep procrastinating on that so I might not post that much this week. Anyways, as always I hope you enjoy this lil' piece and if you did feel free to leave a like and/or comment, it'll be very much appreciated.   
> See you soon!  
> Anna


	4. Sillhouettes

“Here we are” says Dean as he parks the car behind a Sheriff Patrol car.

You all get down from the car and stretch your legs for the first time since your last stop 5 hours before.  _ Goddamn, my ass will be even flatter than it already was after those 10 hours on the road.  _ You think as you discretely massage your behind for a bit. Sam gives you a sympathetic smile and the three of you start walking towards the door of the house. Dean knocks a few times and a minute later the door swings open, a woman with friendly eyes and short black hair who can only be Jody smiles at you. 

“You took your damn time boys” she scolds but you can tell it’s half hearted, “and who’s your new friend?” she asks as she sees you.

“I’m (Y/N)” you say and shake her hand, “it’s really nice to meet you Jody”

“The pleasure’s all mine” she smiles again, “come on in, dinner’s almost ready”

The house is cozy, a few pictures scattered here and there, a sofa and a TV and the dinning table all set up. As Jody opens the door to the kitchen you get taken aback by the lovely smell that comes from it.  _ Holy shit, when the fuck was the last time I ate a homemade meal? _ Your stomach answers by growling and you hear Dean snort from behind you, “shut up, we haven’t eaten anything since lunch” you say and he just smiles.

“Damn Jody, that smells fine over there” he says, walking over and taking a seat at the table “what’cha cooking?” 

“Just some spaghetti and meatballs” you don’t think those words ever sounded more magical than right then, “Sam, can you help me with the food please?” he goes over to the kitchen and you notice he actually has to duck a little not to hit his head against the door frame. 

“Thanks for inviting me to stay” you tell Dean once you’re alone on the dining room. They could’ve just left you somewhere in town and you would’ve figured out where to go from there, but they had insisted so much that you ended up accepting. “You really didn’t have to, you’ve already helped me so much” you look down, not being able to stand the way his green eyes pierced you, “I-I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay you, you saved my life”

“Hey hey hey, it’s okay (Y/N)” he says and he gets up from where he’s sitting and the table and walks over to you, you lift your head again and find him looking right into your eyes, “we weren’t just going to leave you stranded with nowhere to go”

Just as he’s about to say something else, you’re interrupted by both Sam and Jody entering the room again with two big plates full of food. 

“Okay! dinner’s ready, let’s eat” Jody says as she puts the food on the table and starts serving everyone, once you’re all settled you start eating.  _ This is so good, I’m actually going to cry.  _

“The food’s really good, Jody” you say and smile at her, she returns the smile. 

“You drink wine, (Y/N)?” she asks and grabs the bottle, you nod and she serves you a glass, “so, where are you from?” 

“I was born in Jackson, Mississippi” you answer, taking a sip of your wine “but my dad was a truck driver so we never really stayed in one place for too long”

“Ooh, your mom must’ve been really thrilled about that” Jody says and you sigh, not really wanting the conversation to go there.

“My mom uh- she left us when I was a baby, so” you try to shrug it off but you can feel the air around you go really awkward as you all continue to eat your food in silence.  _ They’re gonna think I got out from a creepy Telenovela if I continue to tell them about what a joy my life has been so far, Jesus. _

_ Yeah well, what’re you gonna do? Life’s hard. Fuck off. _

_ Just saying, these people don’t know you, you could just lie. _

_ They saved my life, are giving me food and a place to sleep on and I’m gonna lie to them? Yeah, no. _

Once you’re all done eating you help Jody take all the dishes back to the kitchen and offer to clean up as a way to say thanks. Jody accepts and says she’ll go look if she has some clothes left from when she was younger that might fit you and you thank her once again. 

“If there’s anything I can do, anything at all, please just say the word” you say, stopping what you’re doing to look at her right in the eyes “really, anything”

“If I come up with something, you’ll be the first to know” she winks at you and walks out of the kitchen, leaving you alone for the first time in the day. 

\--

Dean sits back on the couch as Jody comes out of the kitchen, making sure the door is fully closed before she walks to the living room and sits across from them. 

“So, how did you meet this lovely lady?” she asks, her eyebrow raised in her typical no bullshit allowed way. 

“We uh, we found her on the road, she was running away from a guy” Sam answers, “she didn’t really say much about him, except that he hurt her and by the way she looked and her dislocated shoulder, I don’t really think she was lying” 

“Yeah, me neither” ads Dean, “She looked pretty shaken up, but we didn’t wanna push her into telling us more details until she’s ready to”

Jody nods, “and have you tested her?” 

“Yeah, I gave her Holy water to drink with some pills” Sam answers. 

“Yeah, she’s no demon that’s for sure, we haven’t had the chance to test her for much else” Dean says, “but if she was a monster and she wanted to kill us, I figure she would’ve done it by now” 

“Well, I guess that makes sense” Jody leans back in the armchair she’s sitting on, a little more relaxed now. “Anyway, I didn’t make you come all the way over here for nothing, things have been happening and I think it’s your kind of things” 

“What kind of things exactly?” Sam asks. 

“We found a truck driver on the side of a gas station, he choked on his own blood” she says and then reaches for something in her pocket “I found this on one of the tires” she puts a bag in front of them on the coffee table. 

“That’s a hex bag” Dean says and Jody nods.

“That’s not all” she continues, “there has been a lot of demon activity around town, especially since yesterday” she grabs some newspapers from behind the armchair and passes them to Sam, who begins to read the headlines “electric storms, one of the farmers came this morning claiming his cattle simply up and died last night and he’s blaming one of the other farmers of poisoning his cows and now I have a freaking farm war on my hands” she presses her palms to her eyes. 

“So demons are around, do you have any leads to who it could be?” Sam asks, putting the newspapers on the coffee table next to the hex bag.

“That’s not all” Jody says and she looks at the boys, the air turns cold, “I went to Bobby’s yesterday, just to have a look around and see if everything was okay” She looks down, Bobby’s death was still a fresh wound on all of them, “I found 2 angels and 3 demons, all dead, the salvage yard looked like a battlefield”

“What the hell?” Dean says, his tone raising a little bit and Sam shushes him, motioning to the kitchen “I mean, it’s not weird that angels and demons start fighting and get each other killed but why were they at Bobby’s?”

“And what does any of this have to do with the truck driver?” Sam asks.

“Beats me” says Jody, “that’s why I called you, I don’t think this is gonna stop there, I think there’s a lot more coming”

“Yeah, that’s for sure” Sam says and he runs his hand through his hair, Dean has half a mind to tell him to freaking cut it once again but he swallows the comment, now’s not the time. He looks at the kitchen door, where he knows you are, absolutely innocent of everything that’s happening just a few feet from you and for the first time since he met you, he regrets having picked you up.  _ Getting involved with us can only end up in one way, and you don’t deserve that, you’re too good for all this crap.  _

_ \-- _

At the same time he thinks about that, you think you couldn’t have been luckier if you had met anyone else. You think of his green eyes, and don’t chastise yourself for thinking about the way his lips probably feel. You don’t chastise yourself for thinking maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something very good. And for the first time in your life, you don’t think about running away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Hope you enjoyed this lil piece of work, if you did feel free to leave kudos and/or a comment, I will very much appreciate it. If you haven't noticed, the titles of each chapter are names of songs, not necessarily because of the lyrics and the content of each chapter (although most of them are) but because I feel like they inspired me in some way. If you don't know the songs, I strongly recommend you give them a listen :) Anyway, that's it from me today!  
> See you soon,  
> Anna


	5. Way Down We Go

You wake up at 8am and go to the kitchen, Jody’s making coffee and the smell is intoxicating. 

“Good morning” you say and Jody hands you a mug, “thanks” you say as you take a sip.  _ Fuck I had forgotten how good home-brewed coffee tastes like _ . You sigh in  contentedness.

“Good morning, you sleep okay?” she asks.

“Yeah,” you look around, the house is silent except for the sounds of you and Jody having breakfast. “Sam and Dean aren’t up yet?”

“No, they left earlier, had some work to do” she says.

“I never really asked them what it is that they do” you say and then ask, “do they work with you? for the police or something? they told me they help people”

“Something like that, they’re more uh...independent” she says and you don’t really ask her more about it. Jody clears her throat and looks at you. “(Y/N), Sam and Dean told me a little about how they met you, about that man” you look down, scared that she’s going to tell you to stay away from them. “Look, I want to help you if you but I can’t legally do anything if you don’t press charges, I can’t force you to do it but I want you to know that if you decide to do it I will make sure that man gets what he deserves” she says and you look up at her, feeling how protective she feels. 

_ Like a mother protecting her children. _

You hadn’t really thought about that. You think about what that would imply, going on trial...see him again. Just the thought of being in the same room as James made you feel like curling into a ball and cry. “I’ll think about it” you say and your voice sounds weak, you hate it.  _ Why are you so fucking weak? Grow up, it’s not like it wouldn’t be a good idea to make him pay for what he did. Besides, you’d probably be protecting other people by putting him in jail. _

“I gotta go to the Station now” Jody says, getting up and putting her mug on the sink, “here’s mine and Sam and Dean’s phone numbers, if you need anything just call” she gives you a piece of paper with the three numbers scribbled on it. “I should be back at around 4pm, the boys said they’d be home by midday” she grabs her keys and walks towards the door.

“Okay, see you later Jody” you say as she walks out of the house, you hear her start her car and listen as it drives away. It feels weird, knowing you’re in this house alone. You decide that this could be a great moment to start thinking about what the fuck you’re going to do with your life from now on.  _ I can’t stay with them forever, es tempting as that idea may sound _ . You feel safe with them, it’s only been a couple of days but it’s so easy to be comfortable around Sam and Dean. It’s weird, you had thought that the idea of being close to anyone after what happened with James would be repulsive to you, but being with them just felt kind of... _ natural _ . Especially with Dean, there was something electric about the energy you felt when you were close to him. Besides, you’d have to be blind not to feel some sort of attraction towards him, the man was a fucking model for Christ’s sake. 

You shake those thoughts from your head because it won’t do any good to feel anything more than gratefulness towards him, he saved your life after all. But you had no chance of him ever looking at you with anything more than pity in his eyes. 

_ You’re pathetic and weak, why would he ever want to be with you? _

You finish your breakfast and wash the dishes that were left in the sink, walking out of the kitchen and grabbing a newspaper that was left on the counter, figuring that you could at least look for a job.  _ The least I can do is be able to get out of their backs as soon as possible _ . You sit down on the couch and turn on the TV, leaving it on for the sake of listening to other people talking because the silence was starting to be a bit too much. You open the newspaper on the classified ads section and start looking for anything you could do. There were lots of waitress wanted ads and you figured you could just go back to what you used to do. You were going to ask Jody to help you get your ID back, as soon as you had that you were gonna go to this places and apply for a job. 

Having figured that out, you started looking at the local news. There had been a gruesome death under strange circumstances and the police was still looking into it. Suddenly, you feel a blinding pain on the back of your head. Images start flashing in front of your eyes of a man grabbing at his throat and blood spurting out of his mouth until, he’s clawing at his eyes now, his nails dragging the skin and making them bleed too almost taking his eyes out. You could feel his pain, how he couldn’t breathe and the desperation he was feeling, and then nothing. His head falls to the steering wheel, making the horn sound loud in your ears. The pain you were feeling stops and it feels like...nothing. You’re surrounded by darkness and you can’t hear or see anything, not even yourself.

It stops then, and you open your eyes slowly. You fell from the couch and now your head hurts but from the impact of it hitting the floor.  _ What the actual fuck was that?  _ You get up from the floor and throw the newspaper away deciding that going out for a minute could be a good idea, fresh air would help to clear your head. 

You walk out into the back yard and sit down on one of the folding chairs there. You take a deep breath and rub your eyes with your hands. 

_ Am I going crazy? Was that a hallucination?  _

_ It felt so real though, almost like it was happening to me.  _

_ Yeah well, that’s what happens to crazy people, you know? _

_ Fuck you, I’m not in the mood to listen to you right now.  _

_ You’re talking to yourself now, see? Crazy. _

_ Shut up, everyone does that.  _

_ Oh really? _

You start to ignore your own thoughts then and just close your eyes and breathe. It’s probably just the emotional shock of being here, so far from where you were just a few days ago. You try to reassure yourself and get it together.  _ Dad always said I think too much about everything, you’re just doing that again _ . You felt that empty space on your chest then, the loneliness you felt from the second you found out he was gone. 

\--

_ It was a calm night, though most nights were like that when you lived in the middle of nowhere. It was nice though, your grandparents had owned the farm since they were young and they had left it to your dad when they passed away. The woods surrounding it were great for long quiet walks.  _

_ Your dad didn’t have to go again until Monday so you had a few days together. You had tried convincing him of taking you with him. But he had insisted that you stayed, it would be a short trip anyway and he didn’t want you to lose any more classes. That was ridiculous since no matter how many classes  you lost, you still got your work done and had all A’s. But he wasn’t gonna give in and you knew it, so you just sighed and decided to make the best of the days you had left.  _

_ Your dad was an independent truck driver, he made big deliveries all over the country. That’s why you were on the road a lot of the time, you didn't’ have anyone else since your grandmother died and your dad couldn’t and didn’t want to be away from you for  long periods of time. You were all he had left since your mother left.  _

_ You were in the living room, sitting on the couch and watching a movie together. It was a horror movie, one of the cheesy ones with a psycho killer and the dumb girls who always managed to trip on the most inexplicable ways. You watched them more for the sake of making fun of the acting than to be scared.  _

_ Your dad got up from the couch then and went to the kitchen to get some drinks as you continued to watch the movie. _

_ He came back running after a few seconds, looking like he had seen a ghost and he grabbed you by the shoulders, pulling you up from the couch and pushing you towards the stairs. _

_ “Honey, listen to me very carefully I need you to go go your room and lock yourself in there until I go get you” he said, his voice low and dangerous, you had never heard him like that before and it scared you.  _

_ “What? Dad what’s going on?” you asked as he continued to push you towards the stairs. _

_ “I need you to do that, and don’t open the door until I say you can” he said, insistently, “there’s  _ something _ outside the house” _

_ “What do you mean  _ something _? it’s probably just a fox, dad” your dad was starting to scare the shit out of you, you had seen a lot of foxes around and they usually just minded their own business so you didn’t see what the big deal was. But your dad shook his head and pushed you away.  _

_ “I don’t know what it is..it’s..it’s big, just do as I tell you while I go take care of it, would you? Please, (Y/N) just do it” he said as he grabbed his shotgun from the closet next to the stairs.  _

_ You were really scared then, your dad never used the shotgun. Not even when those assholes from town came to threaten him if he didn’t agree to smuggle their drugs across the border. He had dealt with them just fine without it. You just nodded then and ran up the stairs, locking your door as you got into your room. You ran towards your window, trying to catch a glimpse of what was going on outside as you heard your father walk into the wrap around porch.  _

_ That’s when you saw it. It definitely wasn’t a fox. It was huge and black, you almost missed it too because of how dark it’s fur was. It was its eyes though, they were a bright unnatural red shining even in the darkness. It was pacing around the house, baring it’s big yellow teeth. Your heart started beating faster.  _ What the fuck is that thing? _ You had never even heard of anything like that except for the mythological creatures you read about in the lore books your dad always brought back from his trips.  _

_ You saw your dad then, he was walking towards it from behind, the shotgun pointed straight at it. You could feel your heart beating in your throat then. You looked back at the beast and your whole face turned pale when you saw it staring right back at you, it’s eyes almost hypnotizing you. It turned around then and that’s when it saw your father. Oh, no. It snarled and growled then, a deep, dark sound so loud that you could feel the vibrations on your own chest from where you were. _

_ It was silent for a few long seconds after that. It happened fast, the beast started running towards your dad and he fired the shotgun, it impacted on the beast’s chest but that didn’t stop it. It just kept running until it got to where he was, he had already started to run back towards the house but that thing was too fast. It got him on the back and bit him right on the neck. They both came tumbling down and you felt yourself starting to faint. There was so much blood. But you held your ground. _

_ “DAD!” you screamed as you started running back down, you didn’t even notice when you grabbed your grandfather’s old sword. You didn’t even realize it when you went outside and ran towards the beast, it was still ferociously biting your father. His screams were all you could hear, resonating in your ears. “GET THE FUCK OFF MY FATHER” you screamed as you drove the steel through the thing’s back, to where his heart was. It howled then and started stumbling backwards, whimpering and running towards the woods disappearing behind the trees.  
_

_ You kneeled in front of him and grabbed his head. He was barely breathing, but his eyes were open and he was looking at you, blood was coming out of his mouth. “That was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, (Y/N)” he said weakly and you shushed him. _

_ “Shut up, we need to get you to a hospital” you said, trying to convince yourself that it wasn’t his blood soaking up the ground under you, “come on dad, you think you can walk to the truck?” _

_ He shook his head then, barely noticeable and said “honey, you know I won’t make it, I lost too much blood” you shook your head saying no, he wasn’t gonna die. He couldn’t die. “You’re gonna be okay, baby, you’re so strong” he said, his hand touching your cheek and you started crying then.  _

_ “No, dad, come on don’t leave me like this” you were sobbing, his breathing was slowing down. _

_ “I love you, baby” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, “I-I’m sorry”  _

_ “I love you too dad” he was closing his eyes and you could feel him leaving, “no, no, no, come on dad you can’t leave me alone like this”  _

_ But you knew he was already gone.  _

\--

You shiver as the memories from that night come pouring down on you. You rub the tears away from your eyes as you hear the front door open and Sam and Dean walk into the house. 

“(Y/n)?” you hear Dean’s voice call from inside the house and you get up from where you are.

“I’m out here guys!” you say and walk back inside, “hey”

“Hey, you okay?” Sam asks, “you look a little shaken”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just… it’s nothing” you say and smile a little to reassure them. You can see that they don’t buy your crap but they just decide to let it slide and you’re thankful for it. They wouldn’t believe you anyway, just like the police didn’t believe you, or anyone else for the matter.  _ Bear attack my ass _ . “I was thinking of making some chicken for lunch, you guys want some?” you say, walking towards the kitchen, “maybe some pie too, for dessert, if Jody has all the ingredients” 

You look back at the guys then, and see Dean looking at you like you’ve just told him that you are the most precious thing he’s seen.   


“You-you make pies?” he says with the same tone a 3-year-old uses when he wants a toy. You smile and nod. It had been a rough morning, but they were there now and cooking always made you feel better. 

You decided then that you weren’t gonna let your past make you weak. You’d been through so much, but you were still there. Whatever came for you, they were gonna learn that they couldn’t mess with you. James included.


	6. The Curse

You went into the kitchen, while Sam and Dean go into the living room, you can hear them bickering about what to watch on the TV and it makes you smile. They offered to help but you had declined. Cooking was a solo task for you. You remembered the last time you had cooked something. It was in your apartment, back in Bruceville before you met James. 

You start singing while you cook, your grandma’s favorite song. The one she and your grandpa had danced the night they met. 

_ Quand il me prend dans ses bras _

_ Il me parle tout bas _

_ Je vois la vie en rose _

 

_ Il me dit des mots d'amour _

_ Des mots de tous les jours _

_ Et ça me fait quelque chose _

It puts a smile on your face and you continue to sing and hum around the kitchen. You turn around after putting the chicken on the oven and when you face the door you see Dean standing there, his arms crossed over his chest and a sweet smile on his face. 

“You have a really nice voice, (Y/N)” he says and you don’t think you could possibly blush more. “You have a lot of nice things, actually”

“Thanks,” you dry your hands on your jeans and clear your throat, trying to collect yourself because he is totally, absolutely not flirting with you, “you too” you say and it almost comes out as a squeak.  _ Jesus, (Y/N), smooth _ . He smiles.  _ God, that smile.  _ “Do you need anything?” 

He walks towards the freezer and you tell yourself that the fact that he grazed you with his hand when he walked by you was totally just a coincidence. 

“Just came to grab a beer, check if you don’t need help with that pie” he says as he opens a beer and takes a swig. His Adam’s apple bobbing on his throat is probably one of the sexiest things you’ve seen, along with his biceps moving under his green shirt. 

“No, everything’s under control here but thanks” you say and start grabbing the ingredients for the filling. 

You start working on the pie and can’t help but notice the fact that he hasn’t left the kitchen. He’s leaning close to you against the counter, drinking his beer and when he offers you some, you accept it. You’re comfortable like that and it’s interesting that you’re actually really okay with the fact that he hasn’t taken his eyes of you.  _ He just wants to see how you make the pie, chill down _ . 

“So, besides Bon Jovi and french songs, what else are you into?” he says.  _ You _ . You think and thank God for the fact that that thought didn’t cross your lips. 

“A lot of things actually, when it comes to music at least” you say, putting the pie crust on a pie dish, molding it the way your grandma taught you when you were little. “I’m very flexible when it comes to it” you say as you stretch to grab something from a cupboard. 

“I see” he says and out of the corner of your eye you see him checking you out. You smile and continue to work, you’re almost done now. 

“What about you?” you ask him, finishing up the pie and setting it on top of the oven for when you’re ready to put it in. You lean down to check on the chicken, it’s almost done too. 

“Well, as you probably noticed on the drive over here I’m a classic rock kinda guy” he says, taking another swig at his beer and passing the bottle back to you, “nothing after the 80’s”

“My dad used to say that anything after the 80’s was just angsty teenagers and a lot of noise” you say, chuckling and taking a final sip of the beer. You take the chicken out of the oven and set it on top of the stove. You turn the temperature down a bit and put the pie in. “Can you help me set the table?” you ask and he nods, immediately starting to do it. You call for Sam and he comes into the kitchen and grabs the plates you hand him, setting them down on the table.

“It smells great, (Y/N)” he says.

Just as you’re grabbing three glasses to set them on the table you hear the sound of wings flapping and suddenly a man wearing a trenchcoat appears out of thin air right in front of you. 

“Holy shit” you stumble back, dropping the glasses down on the floor. “What the _ fuck _ ?!” you yell. 

“CAS!” Sam yells too.

“(Y/N) are you okay?” Dean asks and you’re absolutely pale because  _ how the fuck did that just happened and why is no one else flipping the fuck out _ . 

“Fucking what the fuck?” you ask again and  _ seriously, why is no one else flipping out? This man appeared out of nowhere in the middle of a kitchen.  _

“Sam, Dean” the man says, looking at you confused, his piercing blue eyes studying you curiously “I don’t know you”

“Cas, what the fuck? We called you  _ 3 hours ago”  _ Sam says. 

“Yeah, great timing, man” Dean says his tone dripping in annoyance. 

“Can someone please tell me what the hell’s going on?” you say, almost yelling and Sam winces. 

“It’s a long story, (Y/N)” Dean starts.

“Yeah well, I have time so can you please explain to me how the fuck this man appeared out of nowhere because I’m flipping my shit here” you say.

“(Y/N) you should probably sit down” Sam says, clearing his throat again. You nod and start walking towards the table, forgetting the fact that there’s broken glass everywhere and successfully cutting yourself on the foot.

“Mother _ fucker _ ” you hiss and Dean grabs you from behind so that you don’t fall. 

“Freaking great” Dean says, helping you to a chair. Sam immediately getting on his knees and checking the cut.

“It’s not a big cut, you won’t need any stitches” Sam says.

“Wow, lucky me” you say, sarcastically. Sam smiles apologetically and Dean actually has the nerve to snort. He gets out of the kitchen and you’re left alone with Sam and Chris freaking Angel. “So, is anyone going to tell me who this man is and why he just appeared like he just learned how to apparate with Harry freakin’ Potter?”

“(Y/N) this is Castiel,” Sam says, starting to clean up the glass from the floor. “He’s uhm-”

“I’m an angel of the Lord” Castiel says and you’re so shocked at the seriousness of his tone that you start laughing. 

“You’re an angel of the Lord” you repeat and laugh again at how ridiculous it sounds.  _ This must be a joke, right? _

“Did I say something funny?” he asks, looking so confused it’s actually cute. He has the expression of a confused puppy and you can’t help but laugh again because it’s so out of place with his deep voice.

Dean comes back with a first aid kit in his hands and crouches down in front of you, gently grabbing your leg and inspecting your foot. He slowly disinfects the cut and you hiss at the sting of it. He puts a bandage on it afterwards and then puts your foot up on another chair. “You should leave it up for a while” he says and you nod. The smell of chocolate hits you then and you realize the pie is done but before you can say anything Dean’s already taking care of it. 

“Okay, back to where we were” you say, looking back at Castiel, “you guys didn’t have to work so hard on a prank, like seriously this guy’s a pro” you say, looking at both Sam and Dean, who are in turn looking at each other like they’re communicating without words. 

“That wasn’t a prank, (Y/N)” Sam says looking at you, seriousness written all over his face. 

You look at Dean, who’s now leaning against the counter again glaring at the floor like it just told him his face is ugly. 

“Wait, you’re- you’re serious” you say, looking back at Sam and then at Castiel, “you actually mean it”. It’s quiet for a bit while you collect your thoughts, you actually start to believe them because, why the hell not? A lot of people believe in angels, you used to believe in them yourself. You just never thought they would look so... _ human _ . “Prove it” you say and they all look at you surprised. 

“What do you mean prove it?” Castiel asks, frowning.

“I don’t know, do something angelic I suppose” you say, “I mean, I know you just appeared out of nowhere but...amuse me, please, just to make sure you’re not just onto some sort of really elaborate prank” you say.

Sam and Dean look at each other, worried looks on their faces and the fact that they’re once again communicating without words starting to annoy the shit of you. 

Castiel walks towards you, his hand his hand stretched and he touches your forehead with two fingers. You feel something course through you, something nice and warm, like light and then when he stops touching you its gone. And so is the pain from the cut. You take the bandage off and see that the cut isn’t there anymore. You also notice that your shoulder doesn’t sting anymore.

“Holy shit” you whisper, “it’s true, you actually  _ are _ an angel of the Lord”

“Yes” he says. 

“Okay, who wants chicken?” Dean says, clapping his hands and sitting down on a chair next to you, serving himself some chicken and starting to eat, cutting the chicken like it hurt his children. 

“Hey Dean, slow down, you’re gonna choke” you say and he actually listens to you. “God, I need a beer” you say and you get up and grab another one from the freezer. You take a deep breath “Okay, so...angels are real, I can be okay with that” you say, taking a swig and sitting down again. 

“So are demons, witches, vampires, ghosts and werewolves and pretty much anything you can imagine” Dean says, his mouth full of chicken. 

“Uhm, okay” you say and take a long swig. “Yeah, that’s- that’s perfect” 

“Yeah, fan-freaking-tastic” Dean says and you pass him the beer, he takes a swig and puts it down on the table.

“I suppose when you told me you help people it had something to do with this?” you ask.

“Yeah, we’re hunters, actually” Sam says, looking at you with that concerned puppy look on his face. “We hunt monsters”

You snort at that because  _ of course _ they are. 

“That would’ve been useful like 10 years ago” you say, leaning your head back against the wall behind you and closing your eyes. 

“What do you mean?” Dean asks. 

“My dad” you say, sitting up again and looking at them, Castiel is still standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, looking at you strangely, “he was killed when I was 16 by this- this  _ thing,  _ it looked kind of like a wolf but it was huge, it was really black and had deep red eyes” you say, remembering how scared you had felt when you saw it, how it had frozen you in place. “People told me I had made it up and, police wrote it down as a bear attack...but I always knew I wasn’t imagining things” 

The three of them are looking right at you now. 

“You were there?” Sam asks, “how did you get away?”

“I drove a steel sword through its back” you answer and Dean actually looks impressed. 

“And you never found out what it was?” Sam asks again. You take another sip of your beer. 

“Did it have a tail?” Castiel asks and you look at him.

“Excuse me, what?” you ask.

“Did it have a tail?” Castiel repeats and you’re taken aback by his bluntness. 

“I don’t remember” you answer, trying to remember if it did. “I- I don’t think it did, now that you ask”. 

“It was most likely a shapeshifter” he says.

“A shapeshifter?” Sam asks. 

“Yes, in some native American tribes they believe some people, witches to be more precise, who turn evil can acquire the power to change their shape into animals” Castiel explains, “although when they do change into their animal form, they don’t have tails, that’s how you recognize them” 

“I need to get some fresh air” you say, getting up from the table and walking out before anyone can stop you. You walk out into the cold afternoon air, the sun warming you up a little. 

_ Monsters are real. So are angels and demons. _

You shake your head and close your eyes, taking a deep breath of the fresh fall air.  _ God, I feel like I just walked into some damn horror novel _ . 

_ Dad was killed by a monster, too _ . But you had always known that, deep down. No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself that it had been a bear attack, you knew it hadn’t been that. You start to cry then, silently. Just a few tears running down your cheeks and you can’t stop them. 

You hear the door slide open and someone walking out but you don’t look around. 

“Hey, you okay?” Dean’s gruff voice says from behind you.

“Not really” you say and turn around. “But I will be, I just need some time to process all this” you say. Dean sees you crying and he walks forward slowly, putting a hand under your chin and lifting your head so you’re looking at him. 

“I know it sounds crazy,” he says, “but it’ll be okay, me and Sam? We’ve been dealing with this our whole lives and we’re only a little fucked up” he says jokingly and you chuckle a bit. He smiles and it’s so sweet it actually makes you cry a little more. He wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly to his chest. You marvel at how warm he is and protected you feel, he towers over you and his arms wrap so nicely around your waist, your head tucked under his chin. “It’ll be okay, sweetheart”.

  
_ Yeah, it will be _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I hope you enjoy it. I feel like things are going to start moving faster now, but I'm not sure yet, we'll see. If you liked it, feel free to leave a comment and/or kudos. Thanks a lot for giving this a little bit of your time.  
> See you soon!  
> Anna


	7. Save Yourself

Dean and her stayed out there for a while. He wanted to make sure she was okay. As okay as one can be when confronted with what was really out there. He held her close to his body and stroked her hair as she slowly calmed herself down and stopped crying. It was all he could really do, there weren’t any words he could say that would make any of it go away, and he doubted that she wanted to talk anyway. He was still a little amazed at how quickly he trusted her, how protective of her he felt and how comfortable it was to be in her presence. It was almost natural, like they had been around each other for a long time. 

He found himself thinking about Lisa. She was great and all, but that year he had spent with her didn’t feel like him at all. It had been like he was watching someone else walking around on his body. And even if he did care a lot about Ben and Lisa, he knew he could never have a life with them. 

_ I didn’t belong there _ .  _ That’s not the kinda life for me _ .

He kept telling himself that, that his place was out there hunting monsters and saving people. Fucking things up, too. The ‘almost’ apocalypse had been partly his fault. Sammy going to hell and losing his soul. Bobby dying while trying to get Sam’s soul back. It was all his fault and he knew it. And now this thing with the angels and demons. They had no clue as to what happened at Bobby’s. Going there only brought more questions than answers, but he could feel something big was coming.

_ We can’t catch a damn break, for fuck’s sake _ .

But here, with (Y/N) in his arms he felt strangely...calm. Like his mind could actually catch a breath and stop thinking about everything for a bit. She had gone through so much too. Even if she still hadn’t told them what really happened to her with that asshole, he could see the pain in her eyes, they had a defeated look on them, like his. But she was strong too, she wouldn’t have made it so far if she wasn’t. He was just glad that they found her that day, who knows what could’ve happened if they hadn’t. 

He knew he shouldn’t get attached. It wasn’t smart to catch feelings for someone when you had a life like his, so dangerous and unstable. And she deserved so much more than anything he could ever give her. She deserved peace and happiness, and he could never give her that. 

_ I’m just gonna make everything worse for her _ .

He felt and heard the sound of her stomach groaning and he chuckled. “Let’s go back inside and get you something to eat, that chicken was awesome” he says, separating himself from her and already missing the warmth she radiated. 

“God, yes, I’m hungry” she says and they both walk back inside towards the kitchen. Sam and Cas are talking there but they immediately quiet down at the sound of them entering the kitchen. Dean glares at Cas, still pissed off that he came in the worst moment ever and that he took so long to answer. He was acting weird lately, not answering when they called and just disappearing off again without a trace for weeks at a time. 

“How are you feeling (Y/N)?” Sam asks her with his trademark concerned puppy face. She sits down in front of him and Dean takes the seat next to her. 

“I’ll be okay, just need to get used to all of” she waves a hand in front of her, “ _ this _ ”. She smiles a little but it doesn’t really reach her eyes and Sam just nods. “Let’s just have some lunch for now, please” she clears her throat and starts serving herself some chicken, Sam does the same, she looks at Cas then and asks: “Castiel, would you like to join us?” 

“I don’t really-” he starts but then he cuts it off at the downright murderous glare Dean gives him, “yes, yes, although I don’t really need to eat”

“Oh, right, of course” she says and then just starts to eat in silence. 

Cas stares at (Y/N) with that squinty curious look he always has and Dean can tell that she’s aware and uncomfortable by the way she shifts in her seat and avoids looking up at all costs. 

“So, what took you so long?” Dean says, trying to take Cas’s attention off (Y/N) and still annoyed at the angel for having taken so goddamn long to answer his prayers. “We called you like four hours ago”

“I was doing some angel work” Cas says, shifting his gaze from (Y/N) to Dean. 

“Bullshit” Dean says because he can tell Cas is hiding something from him and he’s fucking tired of it. Cas has the decency to look ashamed.

“Heaven is...unstable” he says then, “there has been a lot of demon activity lately, a lot more than there had been even before Lucifer was put back on the cage” (Y/N) coughs through a mouthful of chicken then and looks at them incredulous. 

“Lucifer? Like  _ The _ Lucifer? The fallen angel?” she asks.

“Yeah” Sam answers, shifting uncomfortably and avoiding Dean’s gaze. “We uhm- had some trouble with him a while back”

“Yeah but it’s all peachy perfect now” Dean cuts him off, “so, heaven’s a mess and demons are causing a lot of trouble, what’s new?”

“Well, Raphael is still really angry about you stopping the apocalypse” Cas says, Dean sees that (Y/N) stares at the three of them with a shocked face. He looks at her and starts to think that maybe she shouldn’t be listening to all of this. It’s too much too soon. Before Cas can continue, he cuts him off and turns to her. 

“Look, there’s a lot you don’t know and I think you’ve already heard too much about this for now” he says calmly, gently putting a hand on her arm on an attempt to comfort her. He thinks it works because he can feel her relax under his touch. “Why don’t we just have lunch and I’ll tell you everything you need to know later?”

She thinks about it for a second and then nods, “Yeah, I think that’s probably a good idea”

“Okay then, let’s eat” he says. 

He notices Sam look at him curiously, a ‘what’s going on?’ in his eyes that Dean just shrugs off and goes back to eat his food. The chicken is absolutely awesome and he can’t wait to get a taste of the pie, the smell of chocolate in the kitchen is intoxicating.

Lunch goes over smoothly after that. No one made any comments besides Sam telling (Y/N) what a great cook she was and her thanking him with a cute blush on her face. Dean wasn’t going to deny how pretty she was, even when they had just picked her up from  the side of the road and she was a dirty mess.

After they finish eating, they clear up the table and Sam offers to take care of the dishes, so Dean takes (Y/N) to the living room, Castiel following after them. Dean sits on one of the armchairs and she sits close to him on the couch, Castiel stands there awkwardly, hesitating before clearing his throat and saying he has to go because he can hear something on the angel radio and he wants to go check out what’s going on.

“Okay” Dean says, “but Cas” he looks at the angel in the eyes now, “please don’t disappear on us again, we need you man” 

Cas looks down, ashamed “I won’t, Dean, goodbye (Y/N)” he says and with the sound of his wings flapping he’s gone. (Y/N) stares at the vacant place where he stood just a second before.

“I’m never gonna get used to that” she states and Dean grins.

“Yeah, it’s hard to” he states. “Okay, you want the long version or the short one?” he asks, leaning and resting his elbows on his knees. 

“The long one, please” she answers and he nods, taking a deep breath before starting to tell her everything. How his mom had made a deal with Azazel for his dad’s life. How years later Azazel had come to their house when he was 4 and Sammy just 6 months old to get his part of the deal. She listened with tears in her eyes as he told her about his mom dying, how his dad put baby Sam in his little 4 year old arms and made him run away from the house. How every moment of their lives after that was changed and he was from that moment on devoted to taking care of Sammy. His father’s abusive behavior and his obsession with finding and killing the thing that had killed Mary.

He tells her about Sammy finding out he was supposed to be a vessel for Lucifer. How Dean had sold his soul after Sam got killed by Jake Talley. 

She listens as he tells her about going to hell, how Castiel brought him back to life after a year. He even tells her that for him it had been a lot more than that, and it had been more than enough to break him.

He tells her about everything that happened after that. Sam’s demon blood addiction, the seals being broken and Ruby tricking him into opening The Cage. The impending apocalypse and what it would be like if it happened, Zachariah, Michael, Anna, Sam saying  yes and then going into the cage with Adam. She doesn’t make a sound through it all and Dean’s grateful for it. He’s thankful for the opportunity to let it all out, too. It’s the first time he’s ever talked about it and he doesn’t think he could do it to anyone but her. 

He tells her about what happened after that too, leaving Lisa out. He tells her about Cas bringing Sam back but his soul being left behind, how it nearly killed him when he brought it back and the walls that were put up in his mind to keep him from remembering The Cage. He tells her everything and when he’s done he looks down, he lets out a deep breath then and feels a little bit lighter. 

“Holy shit” she says, “I- I don’t really know what to say, Dean” she adds and he looks at her, she stopped crying a while ago, but the look on her face tells him that she’s still not done processing everything. Who could blame her though. Hell, he wouldn’t blame her if she fucking left right then. _ It’s better if she does, being close to me is just going to end up one way, she’s too good for that _ . He thinks, trying to convince himself that he’s not gonna feel anything if she leaves, they just met after all, why should he?

“You don’t have to” he says.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, Dean” she says and he looks up to see a few tears running down her cheeks, he resists the urge to brush them off. “You guys, you and Sam, you’re _ heroes _ ” she says and he’s taken aback by it, being a hero is not precisely the way he would describe himself. 

He doesn’t say anything, he just looks at her in the eyes and sees that she really means it, she really does think that way about him and Sam. It makes him feel a little better about himself, and the way she’s looking at him warms him up in ways he hadn’t felt before. He pushes down that feeling because it won’t do any of them any good. 

He clears his throat and she brushes the tears away from her face. “So, that’s our story” 

“Thank you for telling me everything” she says, “and thank you, for everything you’ve done. I mean, I was already grateful that you saved me from James but you guys saved the fucking world” she says and he can’t take his eyes of her, “you’re amazing, Dean”. She puts her hand over his where they are, clapped together in front of him, he brushes a finger against the soft skin of her palm and for a second it almost feels like everything stops. 

The sound of Sam walking into the living room, his gaze going from Dean and (Y/N)’s hands to Dean’s eyes and he clears his throat. She takes her hand off his. “So, you told her everything?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, I did” Dean says and gets up from the armchair, he needs to get away from the living room, so he leaves them behind and heads to the bathroom. 

He splashes his face with cold water and looks at himself in the mirror. He sees his scars, his eyes stare back at him, almost empty, he feels empty, honestly. There’s been a whole inside him for such a long time that he’s not entirely sure there was ever something there before. His life was fucked up, he was fucked up and he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Everything he touched either died, left or betrayed him. He didn’t want that to happen to (Y/N) and that’s why she needed to go. If she was going to be happy, she needed to leave before she got too deep into their lives and got herself killed.

_ She needs to leave, before it’s too late.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one here! A lot of the songs I'm using for the names are from Kaleo, I don't know if you've heard of him but if you haven't, you should defo check them out!   
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it :)  
> See you soon!  
> Anna


	8. Believer

You watch as Dean walks out of the living room. Your heart aches for them, him and Sam. They’ve gone through so much together. So have you, but what you’ve been through seems like a grain of sand against a desert. You look at Sam, sitting next to you on the couch and looking worried for Dean. You don’t even know what to say to him, where to start. You don’t think there’s anything you could possibly say to him that actually means something, so you just stay quiet for a while.

“So, what do you want to do from now on?” he asks you softly, like he doesn’t want to disturb the silence. 

“I- I don’t really know” you say, “I mean, I thought about going back to what I did before all this happened, but now that I know what’s really out there...I don’t know...it’s too much” he nods, a little frown creasing his forehead, you wonder if he always has that puppy face.

“Well, whatever you decide to do” he says and then pauses, “just- just know that we’ll be there, you’re not alone”

It warms you up, the way he says it. He’s so sweet, even after all he’s been through and it amazes you how strong these two men are. “Thank you Sam” you say, looking at him in the eyes, “you’re not alone either” you add, because if there’s one thing you know is that you don’t want to leave them. You feel a responsibility now that you know what’s really out there. Now that you know what killed your father. “That thing is not dead” you say, after a while

“The one that killed your father?” he asks and you nod.

“I know it isn’t, I can feel it” you say. “I don’t know how but I’m sure I didn’t kill it” you sigh and close your eyes. You’ve thought about it before, countless times. Now that you think you know what it is...you want to do something about it.  _ I have to kill it. _ “I want to go after it”

Sam looks at you surprised, “You want to- you want to  _ hunt _ it?” he asks.

“Yes” you say, feeling more sure of it now that you say it out loud. “I mean I  _ have _ to, don’t I? This thing could be hurting people” he looks like he’s about to argue but you hold a hand up, “Sam, this thing  _ killed my father,  _ if anyone’s going to take care of it it should be me”

“(Y/N) don’t get me wrong, I don’t say this thing shouldn’t be taken care of but” he says and then he looks down, “revenge isn’t gonna bring your dad back, you know that, right?” 

You deflate a little because you know what he’s talking about. His father had gone down the revenge path for his mom and it had ended bloody and with Sam and Dean being practically abandoned throughout their whole childhood.  “I know, Sam” you say, “but I also know that this is something I have to do, not for revenge, it’s for all those people out there who are in danger because I didn’t take care of that thing when I had the chance” you don’t notice Dean walking back into the living room then, “I owe it to them, to myself and to my father to hunt that thing and send it to the hell it belongs”

“No, absolutely not” Dean says then and it startles you, you look at him surprised, he just looks pissed off. “There’s no way in Hell you’re gonna go hunt anything down”

“Dean-” you start but he cuts you off.

“No” he says louder and you flinch at how harsh he sounds.

“What the fuck’s your problem, Dean?” You’re starting to get pissed off too now because _ who the fuck does he think he is? _

“My problem is that this is gonna end up with you either getting hurt or dying, and I’m not gonna be the one who lets you do something stupid like become a fucking hunter” he says, his anger rising up. He storms out then, banging the door closed behind him and gets into the Impala, driving off before you can say anything.

You look at Sam, who’s looking back at you concerned.

“What the fuck just happened?” you ask him. You didn’t expect Dean to get so pissed off and you don’t really understand why he’s behaving like that.

Sam sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I- I don’t know, I mean I didn’t expect him to like the idea of you hunting but I also didn’t expect him getting so pissed off”

“Should we go after him?” you ask, looking at the door. You’re pissed that he acted like that and that he just stormed off before you could say something. 

“Let’s give him some time to cool off” Sam says, knowing full well that his brother is gonna need more than some time to cool off,  _ if  _ he does.

You let out a deep breath and look out the window to the vacant space where the Impala was parked just a few minutes ago. Your determination to do this hasn’t been deflated by Dean, you need to do this and you’re going to go through with it no matter what. You just need to figure out how. 

\--

Dean Grips the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white with the pressure of it. He can’t believe the fact that you want to be a hunter.  _ No fucking way I’m gonna let her do something so stupid and dangerous _ .He wonders for the hundredth time why  he cares so much about what happens to (Y/N). Maybe it’s because he knows she’s been through a lot already and he’s a little skeptical that she can take much more than that, even if she is obviously stronger than any other girls he’s ever ‘saved’. 

_ I just met her for fuck’s sake _ .    


He know he can’t do anything to stop her if she decides to go anyway and that’s what frustrates him the most. It’s not like he can lock her up or something, he’s not going to do the same James did. Not even if it’s to protect her, he’s not gonna be that person.  _ It didn’t work to protect Sam from the demon blood and it won’t protect her either _ . 

He drives around for a while, no destination on his mind until he sees a bar open. It’s 4pm but he doesn’t care, he needs something to help clear his head...or blur it, whatever comes first. He parks the Impala and walks into the bar, going straight to the barman and ordering a whiskey neat. The man behind the counter raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. He puts a glass in front of Dean and pours some Jack Daniel’s on it. Dean swallows it all on one go. “Keep ‘em coming” he says to the bartender, who smirks and pours more whiskey on his glass.

_ Why the fuck would anyone want to get involved in the hunter life if they have a chance not to?  _

He thinks again of all the pain he’s been through, the path of misery and death that has been laid in front of him since he was so young and that will continue until he dies. Because he knows that all of that isn’t going to end until he dies, and it’ll probably continue even after his death. He doesn’t want another person to go through all he’s been through. He doesn’t want  _ her _ to get hurt, to get killed by something she can so easily avoid.  _ She’s too good to get into this life _ . He shakes his head and drinks the last of his fifth glass of whiskey.  _ Fuck this _ .

He gets up, leaving some cash on the counter and stumbling on his way out of the bar and realizing he has been there for more than he had thought, it’s already dark outside. He sits on the driver’s side of the Impala and realizes he’s drunker than he thought he was. _ I seriously need to get my shit together _ . He considers his options for a bit and then takes his phone out of his pocket, dialing Sam’s number as he lays back and closes his eyes. 

“Dean?” Sam’s worried voice comes from the other side of the line.

“Hiya Sammy” he says.

“Are- are you drunk?” Sam asks and he just hums in response, “Where are you? I’m coming to get you” Dean can already hear Sam moving on the other side, he also hears (Y/N)’s soft voice asking for him. He smirks. 

“I’m outside this bar, it’s the uh-” he looks at the wooden sign outside the bar, “Saint Brigid’s Bar” 

“Okay, I’m on my way” Sam says, ending the call. Dean sits there in silence for a while, watching people walk by, some of them going into the bar. Ten minutes pass by like that, he’s taken out of his thoughts by a light tap on the window of the passenger side. It’s (Y/N).

“Care for some company?” she asks with a little smile and he unlocks the door, he wasn’t expecting her to come with Sam. “Hey” she says, sliding into the car and rubbing her hands, it’s getting cold outside. 

“Hey,” he greets, looking at her and around them, “where’s Sam?” 

“I asked him if he could give us a minute, he went to get something for dinner” she says and he nods. She looks at him then and he’s smitten by how clear her eyes look with this light. “I was a little shook by how you just left, we were kinda worried after two hours”

“Yeah, sorry” he says, “I didn’t realize how late it already was”

“It’s okay” she says and leans her head back on the seat, like she’s gathering her strength. She lets out a deep breath, “You probably think I’m an idiot, wanting to go after the thing that killed my father”

“I don’t think you’re-” he starts but she cuts him off.

“Let me finish, please” he nods and licks his lips as she sits up again and turns so that she’s facing him. “My whole life since that day I never thought about anything else other than that night. Not even when I was with James had I felt more...defenseless than when I watched the light go out of my father’s eyes after that thing attacked him” she says, she sounds hurt and kind of vulnerable, but Dean can feel her strength and determination too as she continues, “I always knew that thing was still out there and I could never shake away the feeling of being responsible for any other person it could’ve hurt, not when I had the chance to take it off and I didn’t do it. I’m tired of feeling hopeless, Dean. I want to do something about it, and I know you might think I’m not strong enough but this is what I’m choosing to do with my life right now and I know I can be a good hunter if you and Sam help me"

“Okay” he says and she looks up, surprised. 

“Okay?” she asks, like she can’t believe it was that easy. 

“I’m gonna help you train, I’ll teach you what you need to know and Sam and I will go hunt that thing down with you” he says and he can see her body relax. “But if anything happens and we notice it going south, you’re stepping out”

He can see her conflicted about it but in the end she nods, “Okay, deal” she says, she puts her hand on top of his and squeezes it a little, “thank you, Dean”

He can’t believe he has agreed to this, he knows he’ll regret it sooner rather than later. But it’s done now, and he can see where she’s coming from, too. He understands the pain and the hopelessness of losing someone you love and not being able to do something about it. 

“Let’s go home” he says as he sees Sam walk towards them with a few bags of food. He walks out of the car, still a little tipsy. He nods at Sam, who walks to the driver’s side and gives him a ‘You okay?’ look. He nods as they all get back in the car, Sam driving this time and go back to Jody’s for the night. They can start planning what they’re gonna do tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about such a long hiatus, I didn't expect it to take me so long. But! My finals are over and I have a couple of weeks before classes start back again, so hopefully I'll get more writing done. That, and writer's block sucks so much, but I wanted to get this chapter published now so, here it is. I hope you enjoyed it, as always.  
> See you soon! (this time for real, though)  
> Anna


End file.
